Identity Crisis

One nice relaxing Thursday evening this friend of mine calls up and asks me this befuddling question.

“Are you home from work?” (this wasn’t the question)

“Yes.”

“Good. I have a question.” and she shoots on, “Do you think I am who I think I am?”

First thing that popped into my head, oh oh, identity crisis.

First thing that popped out of my mouth, “Who cares? Why does it matter what others think?”

We debated about the relevance of having any form of brain effort invested in such directionless thought, but she insisted she just needed to know. So I said, “Okay, I think you think too much.” She exasperates, “No, no, not what YOU think I am. What I THINK I THINK I am.” She sighs, “Like this one girl I met said to me, “I think you think you’re not girly, but you actually are”.”

Sheesh. That’s too much thought required deciphering the many ‘think’ in one sentence.

“Well,” I said, “I think you think you’re complicated, but you’re not really that complicated.”

And where is this taking us again?

Okay, I do agree that often times, perception of others play a role on how we perceive ourselves. Personally, I think we can be overly bothered with what others think of us. You are who you are. Know yourself and enjoy it. Stop fretting about what others perceive you as.

To be fair though, that may be easier said then done. Most of us seek approval from the day we were born – starting with our parents, then our teachers, friends, and eventually for some, our bosses and/or colleagues. It takes a while before we realize that the only approval we need is from ourselves.

It doesn’t matter if the whole world loves who you are. All it takes is for you to look at the mirror and not like whom you’ve become and you know you’re off track. You could be the perfect wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, friend, etc, but if you’re unhappy, maybe its time to un-mould yourself from the person you’ve become, to the one you want to be.

On flip-side, you might love who you are, but if the ‘whole world’ hates your stinking guts, maybe it’s an indicator for you to reflect a little and wonder why.

We don’t need to ignore what everyone thinks, but neither do we have to form our whole selves based on what others think. It helps if you’re confident with who you are and use the opinions of mature individuals as indicators to who you could better become. Not silly comments on how you-think-you’re-not-girly, but-actually-you-are.

So, am I who I think I am?

Well, I know for a fact you can be who you want to be.

Why worry about who you think you are or even who others think you are. Just focus on who you want to be and just be.