Perfection is in the cycle of things. It is perfect that when society isn’t right, it purges out a begger on the streets. And when there is a begger on the streets, an activist or humanitarian walks by, and it purges out anger. The activist writer then purges out enlightening words to wake others up, and this purges outrage in society to correct what triggered the begger on the streets.
This is perfection. The cycle is perfect.
I’ll share a personal story.
My cousin Karen and her husband Pablo came home for a visit after 5 years.
The day Karen was about to leave for the airport, we had a final lunch together at the dining table. My aunt told my grandma Karen was leaving that day. Grandma pushed her plate of food away and refused to eat. Her face fell and her eyes turned red. Then the tears and the outcry came, “You come, you go again. I refuse to eat!” My aunt was tired of Grandma’s outcries and said, “Okay, don’t eat”. But Karen was badly affected and she tried to urge my grandma to eat. Pablo said, “She’s really sad.”
Just before we had to leave the house, Karen tried to hug Grandma goodbye. Grandma pushed Karen away with old feeble arms. Grandma was very angry, but mostly, she was deeply sad. Karen stood in front of Grandma, shoulders slumped, and said, “I really love you Grandma”. Grandma finally hugged her with tears and a face so broken my heart wrenched.
Can you see it?
Pain… the beauty of pain. A love so strong between Granddaughter and Grandmother.
And where does the perfection lie in all this?
Just see what took place, what happened.
I am part of the equation too. This is the beauty i see in my grandmother every time we meet. But the heart wrenchingly beautiful scene before me will increase my visits to make Grandma smile.
And how about Karen? I would like to think a perfection is triggered there too. That she will return home again soon - that she has even more reason now.
I’d like to share another story of a little girl with wisdom beyond her years. A girl who humbles me.
"i suffer from NF, but it is in no way better or worse than the common flu" - Yvonne Foong, http://www.yvonnefoong.com/about-the-author/
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Yvonne Foong <yvonnefmn@gmail.com >
Date: 29 Sep 2007 14:32
Subject: Chat with Yvonne Foong
To: wong.trina@gmail.com
13:39 me: hi yvonne :)
Yvonne: hello trina
me: r we really meeting tomorrow? :D
Yvonne: hehe yes we are
13:40 me: i hv an odd question
Yvonne: yes?
13:41 me: well, my friend's cousin sister is in the hospital
she has yet another relapse from multiple sclerosis
her eyesight is almost gone
she's fading everyday
how does one deal with this?
13:42 sorry :) .. its okay if there is no answer
13:43 Yvonne: well, I have come to learn something from my own experience
basically, it boils down to the purpose of life
you might ask what is the use of her living if she is deteriorating at such a rate
me: i told my friend, if it were me, i'd be figuring a way out of life
not as much for me, but for the ppl around me
13:45 loved ones to let go and move on with their lives
13:44 Yvonne: recently, i asked the exact same thing to my friend, when i read about the condition of people in a nation where the soviet union once tested their nuclear weapons. now many years have passed, the people who saw the nuclear activity were severely affected, their DNA mutated. now babies are born totally deformed
13:46 and i was sad. i believed everyone should have the capability to learn and grow spiritually and to know God through thinking and reasoning, and investigation of truth. but these babies who are so deformed does not even have the faculty of logic. how then, can they attain the presence of God?
me: exactly. this lady is the mother of 2 toddlers. her kids will see her suffer everyday.
her husband sits beside her and she wont even know it cos she cant see
13:47 Yvonne: we were at the college cafeteria. my friend stood up and fetched a small milk jar and placed it next to my mineral water bottle
Yvonne: the water in my bottle was half empty. the jar was smaller but full
Yvonne: my friend then asked me, assuming the jar is full, which container do u think fulfilled it's purspoe? i said the jar, even though the water bottle has more water. but the latter has not fulfilled it's capacity
13:48 we are often frustrated by our conditions, thinking there are so many things we could be doing if not for our conditions
13:49 even thoug your friend's body is degenerating, her purpose is different from ours.
me: if her condition stabalized .. she can still try and find some purpose with what she has
but shes still going for blood transfusionn
13:50 its hard to find a purpose, when you don't know what you're capable of .. in a few mths, she could be bed ridden
paralysed
Yvonne: i see where you are coming from
13:51 half an hour ago, john ling and i were chatting about suffering. we agreed that suffering is a state of being.
you see, our perception of the world is learned
me: i told my friends .. if something like that happened to me, pls tell my parents to let me go
Yvonne: at a young age, we are taught and conditioned to feel happiness, how to respond to happiness, how to respond to pain
me: life is not worth living in pain
13:52 Yvonne: but this conditioning is worldly standard. maybe 1,000 years from now, men would perceive pain as joyful.
me: well, in the natural order of things
we'd hv been eaten by animals
13:53 Yvonne: in our culture, some religious people see piercing as self-mutilation, another culture see it as an art and hobby
me: don't think we're meant to live with such physical weaknesses
Yvonne: why not?
me: by the natural world
13:54 we'd hv been eaten by wild animals
13:55 mother nature would hv decided for us .. but i guess human intellect makes things a little complcating
13:56 Yvonne: trina dear...
i imagine that if you say the above to your friend, she would feel terrible and sinful.
13:57 me : of course i did not :D
in no way was i suggesting that she let go
but if it were me
i'd want lives to move on without me
loved ones will hurt for a few years
but they will heal
and move on
13:58 Yvonne: Ok let me share something ya
me: kays
Yvonne: in november 2005, I comtemplated a great deal whether I should rest my case in God's hand or should i sell t-shirts to raise funds for surgery
13:59 i went as far as to see many confirmation from friends and blog readers
in the end i decided to sell shirts for surgery
many people brought me to healing rallies hoping God would heal me mirauclously, but He didn't. I accepted it and worked hard for surgery
14:00 in the process, i was invited to give talks to many people, college students, kindergarten kids, MIC youth, i even spoke at stadium putra
Yvonne: throughout my fundraising, it was very trying and tiring. i broke down many times. but whenever i go out there, i meet people who were touched and inspired by me
14:01 especially when i spoke to children, they look up to me with such innocent eyes, i praise God that even though it was trying and suffering, my trials touched and inspird many people
God could have healed me so i didnt have to go through so much, but He didn't.
through my suffering, many lives were changed
14:02 even though your friend is suffering now, but as human beings, we can never know God
s plan and purpose
me: thank u :)
14:03 Yvonne: in the end, through the help of the public who believed in my cause, God let me raise RM230, 000.00 for aq brain surgery in the U.S
I went for that surgery last October
me: only on T-Shirts?
wow
14:04 Yvonne: my efforts include selling t-shirts and later, handmade accessories. there were also donations. because i first helped myself, people came forth to give me a hand too.
one company organised a dinner and raised RM30,000.00 for me
14:05 later, dr. lee hwa beng organized a gold tournament. someone said dr. lee doesn't help just anyone because there is only so much he can do. but he saw that i was helping myself, so he picked up my cause
but my point is, trina, suffering serves it's purpose.
suffering is necessary for us to know God
14:06 human beings are in a constant state of learning, suffering helps us see things better
and one person's suffering is different from another
we cannot compare. i suffer from NF, but it is in no way better or worse than the common flu
14:07 me: agreed
Yvonne: for there are some people who learn little from lifelong suffering, some people learn a lot from a mere knock in the head
14:08 me : u r amazing
14:09 u reminded me that all things r meant to be
there is a reason
Yvonne: and like my parable of the water bottle and the jar, different people have different purpose. suffering is not the right measure of a person's life. your friend may be suffering now, but the jewels she gain will far outweigh her loss. she may not see it now, but it will happen
me: thank u yvonne
14:10 pain has the ability to make us strong and soft at the same time
14:11 Yvonne: Your welcome. =) Love is always the most powerful.
suffering is only a condition that will pass
me: how do u describe love?
what is love?
14:13 Yvonne: nowadays, a lot of my friends are living in different countries. but when i meet them occasionally, i feel connected to them
the same happens when i meet people who came forth to help me raise funds last year
i still keep in touch with them. but we have our own struggles, and they seldom contact me these days
but when they do, when i see them , i feel a special kinship
as if i have known them for a very long time
14:14 i think love is when you feel another person as a part of yourself
me: thats a very nice definition
14:15 Yvonne: when we put God in our hearts, we feel glad at all times. that's when we feel everyone is connected and made of the same clay
14:16 me : can i share yr story with my friend? :)
Yvonne: of course, you may.
did you know i published a book?
you might want to read it to her
me: u mentioned :)
in the email
14:17 Yvonne: Thanks for giving me the chance to chat and talk about this
I'm feeling so grateful now
me: no, thank you
14:18 Yvonne: and I am excited about your friend, knowing that her suffering may cause her to attain much more than she is losing
me: she's not feeling that strong at the moment
but i'd like to share yr strength with her
Yvonne: I will be praying for her
what is her name?
14:19 me: my friend is Yan Jin
i don't know her cousin sister's name
Yvonne: okay. I will keep Yan Jin in my heart
eh sorry
her cousin sister
me: thank u :)
Yvonne: =)
me: and u hv touched mine even before this
14:20 yes, it is her cousin sister with the illness .. Yan Jin visits her everyday
Yvonne: Oh, where is the cousin warded?
me: UH
Yvonne: do you think she will appreciate my visit?
14:21 my grandma's house ins in PJ old town. so i might ask mom to drop ome off in UH while she goes to granny's house for some chores
me: she may not be christian
Yvonne: oh, I'm not preachy. :P
me: but its so kind of u to offer
:D
but thinking different mah
Yvonne: actually.... I am a Baha'i
14:22 I believe all religions are one
me: so do i :)
all rivers lead to the same ocean
14:23 i was s amazed by Yan Jin's positivty and resolve .. she goes in every night with 1 resolve - to make her cousin sister laugh
Yvonne: Buddhists trive for the attainment of Bodhi. we must learn the current religion teachings available, and use the knowledge to purify our body and mind. that is said to be the state of Bodhi.
me: but i know she's tearing up inside
14:24 Yvonne: i understand, your cousin sister sounds very matured
how old is she?
14:25 me: Yan Jin's cousin sister :)
early 30s
Yan Jin is my x-colleague
and an amazing friend
Yvonne: I think she is matured to do that for her cousin
me: very .. and very strong
Yvonne: because I have friend who are 29, 30, 35. yet many do not know how to respond in such situations
14:26 me : yan jin is 29
she goes in every night with a smile and a cheery laugh
many others just goes in and sobs
Yvonne: i know.... a lot of people view suffering as a curse
14:27 me : so does yan jin .. and i think she will still for quite a while
Yvonne: and when they see it befalling other people, they respond apathetically as if they were the ones suffering!
so i think it's important we remind each other what i just told u
me: exactly :)
Yvonne: it transcends religion
me: and u reminded me really well
14:28 thank you
Yvonne: your welcome. anytime if yan jin's cousin welcomes me, just let me know. i won't go to her with the bible. :P
14:29 me: hahaha .. you're such a gem :D
Yvonne: it's ok. i understand because saying "the lord is your savior" sounds so self-righteous and fanatic especially people already suffering and in pain
me: :)
thank you so much Yvonne
14:30 you've given me such strength
no words can express it
14:31 Yvonne: thank you too. =) we are sisters, aren't we?
me: haha .. but of course!
see you tomorrow :)
14:32 Yvonne: alright.l God bless
me: :)
And lastly, I would like to share the wisdom of David Anttony and Masami Sato
PERFECTION
By David Anttony
Imagine if you could wake up tomorrow morning and that imaginary dial inside your head that says that things you do not like as well as the things that you like are all suddenly perfect.
Imagine that when you wake up tomorrow your ‘perfection dial’ has been reset so that it no longer points to the right or the left but to the centre. The right of your dial of course representing your old world-view of perfection which you associated with happiness and what was right, and the left side imperfection, associated with unhappiness, sadness and what was wrong.
You can start imagining now when you wake up in your new tomorrow what your world would look like if you no longer judged things as right and wrong, good and bad, perfect and imperfect, just and unjust. You can imagine today that in your new tomorrow things just become what they are without judgement.
Your new tomorrow world will initially probably feel strange and maybe somewhat confusing because by removing the split in your focus you will move from separation to unity and from struggle to acceptance. Overnight everything would become perfect. When you wake up in your new tomorrow war is perfect, peace is perfect, life is perfect, death is perfect, Christianity is perfect, Hinduism is perfect, sex is perfect, no sex is perfect, anger is perfect, patience is perfect, intolerance is perfect, tolerance is perfect, dishonesty is perfect, honesty is perfect, murder is perfect, lack of murder is perfect, destroying the environment is perfect, saving the environment is perfect.
Can you see that initially your world may become a little confusing for a while as your brain and emotions re-adjust to a new way of being, doing and thinking.
The trick to living in your new world tomorrow would be that you would have to focus your mind, retune it if you like, to look for the perfection. You will need to choose to see life from a different perspective. Depending on the perspective you choose you will find the perfection. If you are not seeing perfection change your perspective. So if you see trees being destroyed and this makes you feel angry why not choose to see the world from outer space! From outer space all you can see is the beauty of the planet. Now if you feel that would be denying what is happening on our planet come back to earth with your focus, choose to be happy and accept what is and start planting trees, but do not feel angry about those chopping them down. Ghandi did not transform India by getting angry and fighting. He took the conviction of his heart and united the Indian nation by creating unity through the simple actions of weaving, walking and talking. What we fight persists and what we focus on exists.
Six months ago I woke up in my new tomorrow. The experiential gift that allowed me to open up a new doorway in my life, the doorway of singularity instead of duality, was when my wife Masami of seven years shared with me that she wanted to change or relationship. Masami wanted to share her sexuality and a large part of her life with another man and she no longer wished to share her sexuality with me. My initial ‘reaction’ was sadness, loss and pain until I decided to ‘look under the rock’ of this experiential gift and see what blessing lay waiting for me. When I looked under the rock I saw an exciting world, a world where the love Masami and I share was as strong as ever; the caring and love for our children was unfaulted; our businesses were stronger and I had the opportunity to be more of me and stand in my own light. I could now experience what ever I felt without being bound by a monogamous marriage relationship. Wow I was in a new world!
Today I wake up in my new tomorrow each and every day. Some days I wake up in duality and I quickly refocus my sight on singularity before I enter the day. Sometimes during the day I ‘forget’ about my focus choice and when someone does something I find uncomfortable I may react with anger. However, within a few minutes I remind myself of my choice of focus and start looking for the gift in the experience. Almost all the time now the gift is easy to find because it is the same gift each and every time – to remember the singularity and the perfection.
The singularity is the only place where you can find peace and total joy because it is the only place true love exists. Masami Sato puts this concept into a most beautiful and simple form. She calls this the gift of acceptance trust and love. Her book titled, “JOY the gift of acceptance, trust and love” is a divine gift that reminds us of the simplicity and deep truth about life. Each and every day I choose to embody the depth of wisdom that shines out of this book and because of this choice my life is becoming a living body of magic.
When we let go of a dual focus we remove a huge stress from our lives and we regain a boundless energy and a deep sense of joy. We can suddenly start to flow our lives in the most magical of ways because we are no longer trying to move in a single direction while being pulled in another at the same time like trying to swim upriver and down river at the same time! Instead we can allow the natural flow of life to unravel the perfection in front of our very eyes.
